Self-Esteem: You Are What You Think
Written by Catherine Hambley, Ph.D.
Do you know that the single most significant factor impacting your self-esteem is your own “self-talk”. That’s right – what you say to yourself, determines how you feel about yourself. Self-esteem is an often-cited, rather complex concept that has been the subject of scientific research, dinner-table discussions, educational meetings, media hype, radio shows, advertising campaigns, and therapist’s couches. However, it is a concept that is difficult to pin down due to its connection to so many other aspects of life, such as family circumstances, work, relationships, socio-economic status, a person’s mood state, personality factors – I could go on and on.
So why are people so interested in self-esteem? It is because our self-esteem is not only impacted by so much of our lives, but it also has an impact on so much of our lives. We know that self-esteem (also referred to as self-worth) is related to (though not necessarily the cause of) such important factors as our happiness, our confidence, our behaviors, our initiative, our relationships, job performance, and career success. Of course there are other factors at play as well. Interestingly, it is easy to see how a cycle gets created (either a positive or negative one). For example, look at the diagram below and you can quickly see why the whole topic around what causes what is not so simple.
The good news, as I stated earlier, is that you are in control of one of the main factors impacting how you feel about yourself. Because what underlies self-esteem is all about how you see yourself, what you believe about yourself, and how you interpret situations, events, and the way people interact with you. Our self-esteem is closely linked to our self-image. So for example, when you look in the mirror, what do you see and how do you interpret what you see? If you engage in negative thoughts, such as “I don’t look good” or “I am too heavy” or “I look fat in this outfit”, then your self-image (and self-esteem) will be negatively impacted. If however, you engage in what I like to call “positive self-talk”, then it will have a positive impact on your self-esteem.
The Skinny Mirror, in and of itself, is not a self-esteem booster. It is a mirror that might make you feel just a little better about what you see reflecting back at you, and this might just make you feel more positive and more confident. Which, looking at the circle above, can lead to positive outcomes. If you look in the mirror and tell yourself that this not really how you look, that you really look worse, then your self-image will not likely be positively impacted. If instead, you look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are beautiful, no matter what you see, than the mirror can have a positive impact. It is all about what you say to yourself.
Have you reminded yourself that you are beautiful? If not, than take this moment to do just that.
Visit Catherine Hambley’s website here.
About Catherine Hambley, Ph.D.
Dr. Catherine Hambley is a psychologist with over 18 years of experience working with people to promote effective change, improve relationship skills, and overcome obstacles to success so they can maximize their potential. She knows that the key to business success is to promote the human talent of its personnel. She provides professional consulting and coaching to individuals, businesses, and boards of directors who want to develop successful relationships, cultivate effective leaders, strengthen communication skills, build group cohesiveness, and find workable solutions to relationship problems. She has given presentations on emotional intelligence and has conducted training and workshops for organizations.
